o LAMINGTON FLOAT (Lord Hogfish)
o ALTERNATIVE MEAT PIE FLOATER A LA TRADITIONAL DAMPER AND LAMINGTON SURPRISE (Quarrel)
o TRUE BLUE FAVOURITE AUSSIE BRAND NAMES RECIPE (Lord Hogfish)
o SWEET & SOUR CRUNCHY CURRY GUMBOOT GUMBO or ADJECTIVE GUMBOOT GUMBO (Quarrel)
o TOFFEE TOADS and new Toffee-Toads-On-A-Stick (Quarrel)
o HOGFISH IN A BLANKET (ElBobo)
o ELBOBO'S PUDDING (ElBobo)
o BABY CAKE (ElBobo)
LAMINGTON FLOAT (Lord Hogfish)
Lamington Float (serves 1):
Ingedients: 1 lamington, Vegemite, 2 Mangoes, 1 meat pie, crushed, 1
bowl, a blender.
Method: Cut lamington in half, spread both halves with Vegemite. Stick
both pieces back together, place in bowl. Put flesh from mangoes into a
blender. Blend until relatively smooth. Pour mango puree over lamington.
Garnish with meat pie.
ALTERNATIVE MEAT PIE FLOATER A
LA TRADITIONAL DAMPER AND LAMINGTON SURPRISE (Quarrel)
NB: It is recomended that the damper be made a day before and kids,
get an adult's help when lighting the fire.
(Serves one very brave person)
Ingredients - for the Meat Pie part: 1 meat pie, mushed up peas,
tomato sauce, BBQ sauce, Worctershire sauce, beer, vegemite,
self-raising flour and water.
For the Lamington Suprise: some lamingtons, 2 mangoes,
unshelled macadamia nuts, tinned peaches and some raspberry puree.
Method for the Meat Pie: Take the top off the meat pie and scoop out
the contents into a bowl. Put the pastry parts of the meat pie to one side.
Now add to the meat of the pie the tomato sauce, the BBQ sauce,
the Worctershire sauce, the vegemitem the mushed peas and half of the beer.
Stir until you achieve a good consistancy. Now put the mixture back into
the pastry part of the meat pie and put the top back on again.
Use the self-raising flour and water to make a damper (just mix the two
together until you get a dough, then take it outside to the bed of
hot coals you prepared earlier, bury it under the coals and leave
for an hour or so). When the damper is ready and you have brushed most
of the dirt off it, slice it into thickish pieces and spread with vegemite.
Serve the meat pie in a dish of more mushed up peas with the slices of
damper around the sides as a garnish. Oh yes, and the rest of the beer.
(They're going to NEED THAT).
Method for the Lamington part: Cut the lamingtons up roughly and put
into a large bowl. Do the same to the mangoes and add them to the bowl
as well. Add the tinned peaches to the bowl as well. Now take the
unshelled macadamia nuts to the mixture and stir so that they are evenly
distributed and well concealed in the mixture. Then garnish with the
raspberry puree and serve with some Billy Tea (this is optional but
is a nice touch. It should be make over an open fire in a rusted up
old tin with some boiling water and some gum leaves).
TRUE BLUE FAVOURITE AUSSIE
BRAND NAMES RECIPE (Lord Hogfish)
Ingredients: 1 large tin Milo (unshelled), 1 packet Arnott's Tim Tams, 3
Bushell's teabags, 1 packet salted Nobby's nuts, 1 block Cadbury dairy
milk chocolate, 1 loaf of Wonder White sandwich bread, 1 can of Golden Circle
apple juice, 1 jar of Kraft Vegemite (of course), 1 packet of Kraft
processed cheese slices, 1 pair of Nike running shoes, 2 cans of
Coca-cola, 1 Kit Kat, 1 Mars Bar, 1 packet McCain frozen chips, 1 can Heinz baked
beans, 1 packet of Saos, 1 Silverchair CD (Frogstomp), 1 Ford Falcon,
crushed, 2 pressed cane toads(TM), 5 cans of XXXX, 1 bottle Praise
mayonnaise, 1 extra large tub of Yoplait yoghurt (any flavour).
*N.B. not all of these are AUSTRALIAN OWNED brand names but the products
are extremely popular among Australian citizens, nonetheless.
Method: Put Nike running shoes on feet, jump on Milo tin until contents
spill out onto ground. Scoop contents back into the tin, this gives it a
nice earthy Australian flavour while still retaining texture and colour.
Take of Nikes. In one shoe, mix the apple juice, Vegemite, Coke, baked
beans and mayonnaise. Stir well for 3 minutes, add Milo to taste. Chill in
fridge for 1 hour. In the second shoe, layer cheese slices with toads until you
are out of toads. Play the Silverchair CD until driven to distraction. Vent
your anger on the CD by breaking it into little pieces. Try to get the pieces
to fall over the shoe, if possible. Pour the contents of one beer can into
the shoe, add tea bags. Let 2 slices of bread soak in beer mixture until
soggy. Take out bread, put shoe into the oven, bake for 30 mins. Pour the rest
of the beer into a large serving dish and arrange saos at the bottom. See
how many Tim Tams you can bowl (cricket term) into the dish from a distance
of 10 metres. Have a break, have a Kit Kat. Unwrap the Mars Bar, if you won
another one, throw it into the dish, it's expendable, otherwise, eat it.
Sprinkle Nobby's Nuts over dish, add the two shoes. Sprinkle with crushed
Ford Falcon and frozen chips. And for the piece de'la resistance, smear
yoghurt over the whole thing. Voila! Bon Appetit! Bonza mate!
SWEET & SOUR CRUNCHY CURRY GUMBOOT GUMBO or ADJECTIVE GUMBOOT GUMBO (Quarrel)
Serves someone with an EXTREMELY GOOD digestive system.
Ingredients: a gumboot, two pairs of thongs, 2 cane toads, 4 pieces of
sugar cane, mango chutney, tomato sauce, 10 cane beetles, beer,
2 Midnight Oil albums, wattle flowers, onions, olive oil, curry powder,
coconut and sour cream for no readily apparent reason.
Preparation time: approx 30 minutes.
Method: Saute the onions with the olive oil in a normal frying pan.
(This will give the impression that what you're making might be
vaguely edible). Then roughly chop the thongs and the pieces of
sugar cane. Happily smash the Midnight Oil albums - this can be done
a day before hand and the smashed albums will keep well in the fridge,
but only overnight. Into a large pot put the thongs, sugar cane,
mango chutney, tomato sauce, smashed albums and onions. Heat to simmering
and allow to thicken. Slice the cane toads thinly and fry them in a
little olive oil (but watch out - frying cane toad won't smell half as
good as frying onions). Then add them to the gumbo. Now add the beer
gradually stirring constantly. Leave the gumbo to simmer for 10 minutes
before adding the rest of the olive oil (unless you used it all before),
the coconut and the curry powder. After a further 10 minutes add the
sour cream and cane beetles making sure that the cane beetles are
distributed evenly throughout the gumbo. Pour the gumbo into the
gumboot and garnish with the wattle flowers. Serve immediately with
a very large beer and some witchity grub pate on damper.
TOFFEE TOADS and new Toffee-Toads-On-A-Stick (Quarrel)
This latest sugary snack is simply
a small cane toad cleansed with spring water and coated in toffee.
Manufacturers are also looking at developing Coffee Toffee Toads,
Caramalised Toads, Sugar-Coated Toads,
and a line of chocolate coated road-kill.
HOGFISH IN A BLANKET (ElBobo)
2 canisters of Pillsbury Biscuit Dough
1 box of Velveeta or any other cheese
1 box fishsticks
1 container of hot dogs
Get out the fishsticks and hot dogs and cut them all in half. Then stick
one half a fishstick to one half a hot dog and keep going until you run out.
Then get your Biscuit Dough out and slap em down onto a large, buttered
cookie sheet. Place the fishstick/hot dog onto the biscuit dough. Now cut
slices of Velveeta and place them over the fishstick/hot dogs. Finally,
roll one side of the biscuit dough over the cheese and fishstick/hotdog.
Heat oven to 450 degrees or 350 degrees. Place in top rack and let bake for
10-15 minutes.
Feeds: your stomach
ELBOBO'S PUDDING (ElBobo)
2 mashed bananas
1 Liter Mountain Dew
2 boxes Rasberry pudding(or vanilla pudding)
2 boxes lime gelatin
If using vanilla pudding: 1 container purple food dye(or 2 parts red, 1 part
blue)
Note: This recipe takes several hours in advance to make so be sure to make
the pudding and gelatin at night, and finish it the next day.
First start off by mashing the bananas. Set those aside and prepare to make
the pudding. Follow instructions on the pudding box exactly.
When the pudding is finished set aside also. (If using the vanilla pudding,
put some drops into it until it becomes completely purple.
Mix the mashed bananas and 1/3 cup Mountain Dew into the pudding until
relatively smooth. The Mountain Dew and bananas are to give it that kick in
acidity along with extra flavor. If pudding loses its purple color, then
add food dye. Refigerate the pudding and get your gelatin out.
Use a square pan with relatively high sides. When the gelatin has finished
heating on the stove pour it into the pan and refrigerate for several hours.
When the gelatin has become solid cut it into squares. Then dump the
squares into the pudding and stir them around until they are spread about
the pudding.
Feeds: me
Extra!: For added ElBobo effect, add two yellow gumballs onto the top of the
pudding for eyes. And if you feel like it, inside of square shapes, cut out
wavy circles for more effect.
BABY CAKE (ElBobo)
1 Carvel ice cream cake
1 baby
Place the baby onto the cake and eat as is. It's delicious.
Feeds: Joe Mama!
