Over the past 800 years, Lord Hogfish Inc. had been
able to procure a photograph of Gooey Moo, a poem written by Gooey Moo
and what is believed to be Gooey Moo's favourite spoon. However impressive
this may seem, it was nothing compared to the recent "Operation Gumboot
Ladder" which aimed to actually CAPTURE the infamous Gooey Moo and offer
him full-time employment as a castle gargoyle. The 10 able volunteers
who embarked on this treacherous operation never knew how close they
would actually get...
|
 |
| The photograph of Gooey Moo |
Gooey Moo's poem |
They set out on the morning of October 15, armed with only a sandwich
and a tranquiliser gun (if only they'd taken a camera too, then
I might have more pictures on this site - LH). The plan was to
leave the sandwich on a chair in a Gooey Moo type of place and hide
behind a tree with the tranquiliser gun, then shoot him when he tried
to eat the sandwich. One of the ten was assigned to take notes on
the operation. The following notes were retrieved:
0904 hours: Sandwich placed on chair in middle of panda enclosure.
Note sandwich type - cooch grass and gooseberry jam. One panda bear
noted.
0905 hours: Whole team runs and hides behind small grove of bamboo.
Menacing look from nearby panda.
0910 hours: Private sneezes. Promptly dismissed from mission and
told to leave.
0912 hours: Private departs panda enclosure, makes unpleasant gesture
in team's general direction.
1034 hours: Morale talk from team leader. Seemingly helpful. Panda's
morale is increased.
1243 hours: Friendly panda offers team leader choice bamboo. Team
leader politely refuses.
1651 hours: Team hungry. Sandwich's immediate safety at risk.
1730 hours: Team starving. Heated debate ensues over purpose of sandwich.
1737 hours: Leader is shot with tranquiliser during debate over fate
of sandwich. Medical team not called for fear of jeapordising mission.
1740 hours: Fight ensues over rights to sandwich.
1748 hours: Leader discovered missing! Search ensues.
1800 hours: Search abandoned due to extreme hunger. Depart for home
base.
1802 hours: Remaining private swears on mother's grave that panda
took off own head, revealing itself to be Gooey Moo.
1803 hours: Gooey Moo seen leaving in panda suit with team leader
via bright yellow helicopter. Many tranquilisers fired, no hits.
1822 hours: Team abandons project, goes out for steak.
The mission was voted an almost complete success and most of the
team was very happy with the results. The team leader has not been
found and is presumed eaten. Gooey Moo remains free to this day. If
you are reading this, Gooey Moo, please give us a call, we all miss
you here at the gargoyle research facility.
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