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Untitled Document
This month's Strange Thing of the
Month presented by Sage of the Snow Pea Fig. It provides a huge extension to
the current Itonian vocabulary. - Lord Hogfish
All words are words. Or are they? Some people claim that
if a word is not in the dictionary, it's not a word. I find this sentence quite
contradictory, but it turns out people don't like me pointing this out. So (totally
against my character) in the interests of avoiding arguments, I have decided
to publicise the long lost, but recently found
DICTIONARY
of words found in fig's family's vocabulary
You see, in my family, we believe that if the general meaning of a word is known,
it's a word. Hey, if Shakespeare did it, why can't we?
(not in any particular order)
dooj - /d† j/ n. 1. the sound of someone being hit with
a fist/foot. 2. slang alternate for cool
goop - /gup/ n. that goopy stuff found on the hands and faces
of most young children, esp. preschoolers
clunky - /'kla?ki/ adj. any large, generally chunky object,
eg. those shoes look pretty clunky
glicky - /'glIki/ adj. yicky and gross combined
gunky - /'ga?ki/ adj. things that look like gunk
Fard - /fad/ n. distinct dialect used by estranged aunts,
a term of endearment for father
meh - /me h/ indic. non-communal reply
narky - /'naki/ adj. 1. annoying. 2. extremely annoying. 3.
Dianne Close
crapola - /kræp'?la/ n. 1. exotic swearword -adj. 2.
that is shit -n. 3. old french for toilet
ngahh - /?ia?/ indic. expression of stifled frustration through
gritted teeth, useful for suppression of, and more socially accepted than swearing
ah ah ah - /æ æ æ/ indic. whimper of distress,
generally in high-pitched, panicky voice
hnn hnn hnn - /? ? ?/ indic. multi-purpose indicative dog-like
whimpering 1. give me some please 2. please don't hurt me 3. I really want something
but can't decide what
stinkiferous - /'stinkIf?r† s/ adj. smelly enough to
spifflicate you
Aunty Mad Jack - /'anti mæd ?ak/ n. our Uncle Ian. Please
do not ask
kissy kissy Michael - /'kisi 'kisi 'maIkl/ n. derogatory treatment
of ex-boyfriends. (Be warned). Also treatment of others current (disliked) boyfriends
-mio - /'mi?/ suffix. term of endearment, added after a name
eg. Huggie-mio
Suzi-monster - /'suzi 'm?nst?/ n. 1. name for young, vicious
children that are extremely annoying 2. a game aimed at getting rid of young,
vicious children that are extremely annoying
shfugger - /'?'f?'g?/ interj. used when you can't decide what
to say
SPOD - /sp?d/ n. DOPS backwards
leftsideosis - /'le ft'saId'o† sIs/ n. an unconscious
favouring of the left side of the body, resulting in all injuries occurring
on the right side of the body. see also rightsideosis
imaginitus - /I'mæ?I'naItis/ n. a condition that leads
the sufferer to believe that they are wearing ice-skates and anything they happen
to be walking across is ice
hye-ick - /jiIk/ interj. an expression of disgust
Morosia - /m?ro† ??/ n. sullen state of mind, often
inhabited by Suzi
post-emptive - /'po† st'e mptIv/ adj. the warning you
get after you've already been hit
- / / indic. the sound of extreme pain, accompanied by shaking hands and horrified
expression
frustrangled - /fr?s'treIngl/ adj. frustrated unto the point
of asphyxiation
childbribe - /'t?aIld'braIb/ n. various sweets, candy, stickers
etc. kept in Kylie's bag until required
Now, it is believed that more scrolls of wordiness from fig's ancestors may
be recovered in the future, but I wouldn't count on it. If you like using words
most other people don't, go to the forums, because there are some in there somewhere.
This is an Irfig
product.
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