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HISTORY OF THIS HOLIDAY (AS RECORDED BY HISTORIAN QUARREL)
It was suggested by some of the research that this
day may have had its origins in a little known ballad of the same
name involving spiders. That's probably where Saint Arachnina comes
in. This saint suffered from arachnophobia and had the extreme misfortune
to be stranded on a planet where the sentient life form consisted
of huge spiders. Arachnina is credited with being the first person
to build a workable space ship made completely from cobwebs in under
6 months and the first person to attempt to destroy a huge spider
species using only an earth sized vacum cleaner. Arachnina was canonised
by IT when IT decided that her struggle against huge and hairy odds
would be a good example for all Itonians. Her Saint's Day was created
by Lord Hogfish under the instruction of IT so that Itonians everywhere
might remember that no matter what size the spider, or the problem,
it can be overcome.
Saint Archnina didn't come to a nasty end like most normal saints.
After realising that she could never overcome the spiders, she went into
business with them producing several lines of textile products. As capital
to start up this business she used the money she had made by investing in
shares of a company that produced an anti-bug spray.
TRADITIONAL CELEBRATION METHOD OF THIS DAY (AS RESEARCHED
BY LORD HOGFISH)
Traditionally, spiders were killed by flattening them with little blue dune buggies
on this day. However, due mostly to a lack of both spiders and dune buggies, modern
Itonians tend to celebrate this day by making paper spiders to decorate their houses
and then stomping on them at the end of the day while singing the traditional ballad.
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