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HISTORY OF THIS HOLIDAY (AS RECORDED BY HISTORIAN
QUARREL)
This holiday was probably the most difficult to find any information
on. In the end, my only clue was a pile of half melted badges that looked like
they’d been exposed to heat some time in their past. It took a fair bit of detective
work to figure out that the badges had belonged to a long buried Itonian saint
whose exploits are the reason for Badge Day. However, before I go on, I must
explain that this day is not, in any way, meant to pay out on organizations
like scouts, guides or educational institutions who promote programs in which
people are awarded badges or material ‘patches’ when they attain a certain skill
or level. But unfortunately, it does.
And while I’m at it, I apologise for the fact that this Itonian Holiday history
has a something like a moral to it. I’ll try not to let it happen again. Anyway,
on with the history of this day.
Saint Egdab was a particularly fanatical, if a touch misguided Itonian from
the planet Ristet. The planet of Ristet is known for its many skills based organizations
(particularly the CUTT*) and for its enamel factories. If fact, the saint of
this day, Egdab, worked in one of these factories. But that’s just irrelevant
background information.
After seeing what he thought was a vision from IT (but which was in fact a
shape-shifting tortoise practicing levitation in the shape of a Ten Pin Bowling
score sheet), Egdab believed that IT wanted him to go on a great quest for knowledge.
(The sudden appearance of score sheets hovering in the air can be quite powerful
if you come from the planet Ristet). So, following in the tradition of his homeworld,
Egdab set about aquiring knowledge by learning new skills. To show his proficiency
levels he collected a great many badges.
It show off his badges Egdab would wear them on a piece of material pinned
to his shirt (who knows why). Unfortunately, after mastering shape-shifting
and getting his shape-shifting badge, Egdab decided to try a particularly difficult
shape-shift (into a Jaguar - he’d always wanted a car like that) and ended up
as a toaster. Egdab probably would’ve been alright except that someone plugged
him into a power point and his metal and enamel badges made him short circuit
not only causing his demise, but burning the toast as well. Badge Day then is
in memory of this misguided Itonian. Who, contrary to popular belief, was not
canonized as an example of how daft some people can be. Saint Egdab should be
a reminder to Itonians of what they can achieve with a quest, if they put their
minds to it. (As well as that there are better ways to go in search of knowledge).
*CUTT - Champion Underwater Tetris Team
TRADITIONAL CELEBRATION METHOD OF THIS DAY (AS RESEARCHED
BY LORD HOGFISH)
Itonians traditionally celebrate this day by wearing many badges in honour
of Saint Edgab of Ristet and some Itonians choose to further honour his memory
by playing the time-honoured game of Tetris, sometimes underwater.
BACK TO THE HOLIDAYS
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